That Just Happened!

Tuesday was my last yoga class at the community center.  Remember when I signed up for it?  And Mille said I told you so?  Although I still don’t look like this…

I have learned a few things about myself and my body.

1.     I have nightmares about punching people.  Actually, that’s not really a nightmare.  In my dream I punch someone, but I either miss, or my punch is so soft it glances off their chin and they laugh at me.  That’s a nightmare.  At first I thought it was some deep rooted feeling of being ignored, or feeling unloved.  Maybe it had everything to do with my mother.  But, now I know the truth.  Save it Freud!  Keep it to yourself, Jung!  I now know this is because my subconscious was telling me that my arms are weak.  Very, very weak.  Like, if I was in a fight, I would have to hope the perpetrator was within kicking distance because these arms were only made for holding….you lovingly.  Which brings us to the second point.

2.    My legs are super  strong.  I attribute it to my longer than usual thighs.  Seriously, I am disproportionate.  I will never be able to do a forward fold and grab my toes because my arms are so much shorter than my legs.  In fact, I once had a doctor tell me, in a way that suggests freakishness, that my thighs were very long.   Humph. Whatevs.  It was God’s way of keeping me safe because He knows these arms aren’t going to help.

3.    I am still really, really bad at yoga.  The balance poses are okay, but anything to do with strength is just not enough.  I finally got used as an example of perfect form, though.  The last class we had to do this sphinx-frog thing and my legs were perfect and my back was perfect and it was my shining moment.  Until I remembered that this class all the positions are to make you better in bed and it’s about widening your hips.  Slutastic, thankyouverymuch.

4.    I do make friends!  I met this wonderful person named Susan and we exchanged information.  We’re going to have coffee sometime.  I realize now that this sounds like a pick up, but I swear it wasn’t!

5.    I don’t think I am ever going to get my perfect yoga body by doing this once a week, so I am upping the ante.  I decided I am going to join a bonafide yoga studio and try doing this 2 times a week.  There are two in my area that look interesting and you can drop in on Wednesday nights, or pay $20 for unlimited classes for 1 month to see if you like it.  So, my quest to find the perfect yoga body continues and MPW will continue to win our arm-wrestling competitions. 

Yeah, That Just Happened!

So the second yoga class has come and gone, and you know what?  I did alright!  In fact, I got two “excellents” from the instructor!  I didn’t fall over and I’m pretty sure my face never once made the “I think I just got a hernia” look.

I think it helped that all of the poses were balance poses and I only had to try to touch my toes once.  See?  Maybe my yoga greatness is closer than I think.  But don’t tell MPW it was this easy, I still want that massage…

Yeah, That Just Happened!

You may, or may not, remember that when I went to visit Mille in Calgary  I joined her in her yoga class.  It did not go well. So, why did I decide to sign up for yoga on my own, you ask?  It seemed like such a good idea at the time!  All I could think about was how great celeb bodies look once they do yoga.  And how I could impress all my friends by being so toned and pretzely.  And how I need to get in shape and this seemed like more fun than running.  Unfortunately, in my head it happened pretty quickly.

Okay.  I know I suck at yoga and I know that I do not particularly care for it, but I really, really,  dislike being bad at things (just ask MPW).  My perfectionist tendencies know no bounds.  I just know  that if I stick with it eventually I could be good.  Like guru good.  

I said eventually, not tomorrow, for Pete’s sake (despite my daydreaming)!   For now I am going to focus on what I do best…balancing on one leg.  I’ll figure the rest out later.   Tonight I am going to dream about having Madonna’s yoga body…and soak in the tub while googling “deep tissue massage”, and then email MPW some tips.

Yeah, That Just Happened!