That Just Happened!

www.thatjusthappened.ca.  Now there’s an address I haven’t typed into
my internet address bar in a while.  I have effectively had 8 months of the worst writer’s block   laziness ever.  So why now?  Where did the inspiration come from to start writing again?  Well, a few places.

One, I have ideas again. Ideas about what to write, that is. I think most of my friends will attest to the fact I usually get ideas.  Dastardly, evil, revengeful, brilliant ideas, especially after a cocktail or two.

Two, my days and nights are reversed just like how it was ages 0-12 months.  My natural clock took over and all-nighters are occurring once again. Only this time they are less fun because I am; a) doing it alone and b) I have not had one or two of the aforementioned cocktails.  I have met a few women who are in the same boat as me, but they are menopausal, so they weren’t too interested in my circadian rythyms.  How can I compete with hot flashes and night sweats, anyway?  I just have dark circles and an internet search history that reads: “Girls Next Door Bridget Dogatonic Video” and “circadian rhythms”.

Three, my dear friend over at The Pond, Blond Duck, has written an awesome book that I said I would review for her.  I thought it would be weird to just throw out a review after months of silence, so take this as an introductory post and a promise that I will be reviewing one fantastic, whimsical book.  Her Halloween series  was a scary story that was actually scary.  It is supposed to be for young adults, but I got chills and it wasn’t because the a/c  is positioned to blow down my neck when I am at the computer, because it was cold outside when I read it and the a/c wouldn’t have been on.  So there.

Four, I have a stack of books that I have read and am hoping will reach the ceiling by the end of the year.  I have to review a lot of them for the Governor General Awards challenge that I made for myself.

Five, who else can I tell about my lusty thoughts about Paul Gross and I why I think he is everything that is sexy and Canadian and male?

Six, my hormones are a swingin’ lately and with the return of the cycstic acne on my chin came enough angst that I feel I have something interesting to write about.

Seven, MPW (my partner Will) is saying stupid things again.  Like, “Who are The Judds?  You mean it’s not just Ashley?”

Eight, someone left me a comment on my “about me” page that just said, “You can go F**K yourself” and I just want to say, “Well…F**k you too, random person who is probably spam. F**k you too.”

Nine, I am getting tired of entering into blog giveaways and not attaching a blog address to my name because I haven’t done anything new since January.  In addition, I am sure Blond Duck would like a new post to leave a comment on.

Ten, Stephtastic is in Derby and I go see her games, KB (my brother-in-law) is doing improv which I go see, MPW is going to start skiing before I know it and I’ll be left all alone and I’m craving some attention, gosh darn it.  What about meeeee?  Notice meeeee!

Well, there ya have it. I’m back.  I’m committing.  I really just want to talk about Paul Gross.

That Just Happened!

For the events leading up to the day of the surgery go here.

Total procedures being done: diagnostic laparoscopy to identify and diagnose endometriosis, possible treatment of endometriosis, tubal dye test (to ensure fallopian tubes are clear), removal of possible scar tissue, D&C. 

Total problems found: 3.

I have level 1 endometriosis, which meant it was minimal (although he made it clear that the 1-4 scale does not in any way indicate pain caused from it) and he removed it.  I had scar tissue near my appendix (which he was surprised at because that much scaring without having had appendicitis is rare) and scar tissue on my big intestine (from a bad diet?!  But I’m a vegetarian!  Most likely from first year uni and living on my own for a year).  Unfortunately, this will probably not be last time I go in for surgery for this, as endometirosis comes back until you hit menopause.  It can cause infertility (if it goes untreated) and extreme abdominal pain.  Thankfully, I caught it pretty early and I havebeen on birth control pills for so long that it has helped delay the progression of the disease. 

I was glad that the doctor found something.  There was the possibility that he would find nothing.  It turns out your uterus, bowels and bladder share a nerve center, so it is difficult for a woman to identify exactly where the pain is coming from.  You may think it is your uterus, but it could be your bowel, or bladder.  So, the fact that the search can end there is reassuring.  Who knows how long it would have taken if I had to see another specialist.  I must admit that I lost heart a bit when I realized I would have to got hrough all this again.  The other factor is, I could need surgery again in  years, ten years, or even one year.  There is no way of knowing for sure.  It was a very emotional day and it takes a lot to stay braveand positive, so when I realized that it would come back I had to take a few minutes to just be by myself.  MPW was amazing and let me have my time, and he was ready to hold my hand when I was done sulking.  Hello, Pity Party, Table of One!

The pain meds make me nauseous, but I definitely have my appetite.  Moving around is painful and I vow that the next time I go in for this surgery I will have a smaller tummy to make it easier.  There are a lot of things to be grateful for, so here are some of them.

1. I get to havea stress-free Christmas.  No working out, no heavy lifting, no bending over.  MPW is my slave and has to do my bidding.  I must admit it has been fun getting him to run around for me.  Just being able to call him and he’ll get me stuff.  My recovery may take a looooong time.
2. MPW is around to help me and love me and take care of me.  Thank goodness, because the thought of looking at the incisions makes me more nauseous than the pain meds.
3. People bring me gifts (thanks again Stephtastic) and offer to do my bidding (Thanks Art Owl).
4. I finally found out what has been causing the pain and it has been taken care of so I can return to a normal life.
5. I live in Canada and the only thing I had to pay for was the surgical soap for my showers and $1 for the pain meds.  Thanks to universal health care and paying into it since I was 13 years old and the benefits through work.
6. The wonderful people at St. Mike’s who took such good care of me.  I really can’t thank them enough.  To donate to the hospital you can go here.
7. Chocolate.  Enough said.

So, for now I just need to catch up on my rest and be grateful that this is over for now.  I have a follow up appointment in a few weeks and then I should be okay for a while at least.

I wanted to share this with all of you because it is such a major event in my life.  It’s also been really helpful to write it all out (and I get to put words like vajayjay and lady business all over the Internet).  I think it’s also important to share stories like this so that other women know what’s happening and what can happen.  I have never known anyone to talk about having this problem and if I knew more about it, maybe I would have been able to get help a little sooner.  The most important thing I can think to pass on is something I have heard time and time again, “You know your body better than anyone else and if you think there is something wrong than there is!”  Don’t let one stupid doctor tell you they’ve never seen it before because someone out there has  and it doesn’t mean it’s all in your head.  You can keep going and find someone who believes you and who can help you. 

Yeah, That Just Happened!

For what led me to this point go here.

First, let me explain what endometriosis is, in case you aren’t familiar with it.  Endometriosis is when the uterine lining starts to develop outside the uterine wall.  It can start to form on your ovaries and in severe cases it can form on other organs in your body.  There is no direct cause for developing it, but it is estimated that 5-10% of menstrual aged women develop it.  It can cause a myriad of symptoms, most common being pain and infertility.  Being on the pill, lowering your estrogen and smoking appears to halt its progress (obviously no one should take up smoking for this).  There are medications to prevent it from returning, but the side effects are so awful, that most women choose not to take it.  For more information about this you can check it out on Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis

After a few more follow up appointments with the wonderful doctor through his clinic at St. Mike’s (I had been seeing him through the hospital up until this point)  we decided that diagnostic surgery was pretty necessary.  Although, it is considered ‘elective surgery’  I don’t feel like I have much of a choice.  I either see what’s going wrong, or I live in continual and increasing pain.  Hmm.  Decisions, decisions.

MPW came with me to the final appointment so he could meet the doctor and we could talk about the surgical options.  Right away, MPW felt better having met the doctor.  Again, the doctor has this amazing ability to put you at ease.  He doesn’t overstate, or understate the concern, or the issues.  He is matter-of-fact and he smiles a lot.  Definitely makes you feel like you are in capable hands.  Also, he performs his own surgery, so you know who you are getting.  All major pluses.  The downside was he was booking in the spring of 2011.  That would have meant that I would have waited over a year from the first time I went to my doctor to find out what was wrong with me.  He asked if I wanted to be on his waiting list because I might get in around February.  “Sure, why not,” I said.  I signed all of the forms and went home with all the literature and kind of put it out of my mind.  No use worrying about something that is 6 months away.

On December 11th I get a call from his surgical coordinator.  “Hi, may I speak to Jennifer please?”  “Speaking.”  “Hi, this is ______  from ______’s office.  Would you be available for surgery on December 17th?”  “Um…heck yeah!  I mean….wow!  Okay!”  *laughs* “I know it’s kind of short notice, but…”  “No, that’s great.  Great.”  “Okay I will call you back and let you know when your pre admission appointment is.  It is supposed to be 2 weeks in advance, but we’ll have to get you in sooner.”  “Great, I will talk to you soon.” 

She called me back and I was booked in for Monday at 8am.  At this point you would think I would tell MPW the news, but I couldn’t because that weekend he was in Vermont with the ski school, coaching.  Of course, his phone was off and I didn’t want him to worry all weekend.  I had to wait 4 days to tell him and even then it was the night before the pre admission appointment, so he had to send an email to his boss and hope for the best.  I must take a minute here to say how great his employer has been about him taking time off for this.  There was no question about it, and MPW has been free to go with me on the appointments and surgery day, so major thanks to them.

We went to the pre admission appointment and they took my blood, blood pressure (twice) and asked me all sorts of questions (twice).  I left with instructions to call on Thursday for my surgery time on Friday.  I also left with a lot of nerves.  For some reason, in my head, this was going to be no big deal, but when I sat down with the pre admission nurse and she explained the procedures it finally hit me that this was a lot more serious than I thought.  The recovery was going to be painful (mostly from the gas…and it is.  The gas is in your body cavity, so you can’t just expel it and it pushes on your stomach nerves which causes back and shoulder pain.  Go figure.)   I also do not remember the doctor explaining that I was going to also have a D&C.  That really freaked me out.  I know he did tell me because it was on the paper that I signed, but I don’t think it actually sunk in until that point. 

So, off I go back home to sit and wait.  I told my mother, sister and brother what was going to happen and what was going on.  They were of course, most supportive.  I think my Mom was the most nervous of all of us.  I had 3 days to get used to the idea of surgery and then it was time. 

To find out more about the actual day, come back tomorrow!

Yeah, That Just Happened!