That Just Happened!

On account of my pseudo-unemployment I have officially lost my mind.  It is really only day 1 and already I have resorted to make-up.  Whenever I am really bored, or feeling a little low I do my make-up in the most over the top way.  Usually I have nowhere to go, it just makes me feel better.  I end up washign it off within the hours.  Although this time, I kind of ended up liking it.  My smoky eyes ended up looking…smoky.  Please ignore the awful hair frizz.

 This is  a marked improvement from the time MPW and I were not living together yet and it was still a long distance relationship.  I decided it would be funny if I sent him a few pictures to remember me by.  A little something to remind him to come see me as soon as possible. I think I’m really lucky he thought it was funny.   Looking back, I see it looked insane.  This is what happens when I am not at work and left to my own devices (although the following pics were on a long weekend.  Just think of what will happen if I don’t find full time work soon).  

 You’d still love me, right?

Right?

Yeah, That Just Happened!

On the Saturday that just passed MPW and I went to B & J’s 3rd annual Birthday Bash.  Yes, they are aware of the dirty-sounding name.  Becky and Jeremy’s birthdays are days apart, so they combined it to make one big party.  Pretty smart, huh? 

So there was a lot  mountains of food, there was hockey and there were laughs.  A good time was had by all.  Oh, and there was a Sprout (that’s the poodle you can see peeking out at the bottom of the picture).  She is the cutest thing ever.  She prances and she loves being cuddled. She is so smart and if you tickle her just  so, she does an Elvis impersonation.  A-dor-a-ble!  We left Angus at home because, hey, mommy and daddy need a break too sometimes.

I guess now I have to return the favour and have her over to my house. *Hey MPW, get out the vacuum* 

Yeah, That Just Happened!

 Last night as MPW and I were lying in bed we started talking about my uterus and I found out some pretty frightful truths about MPW’s knowledge of Lady Bits.

He puts his hand on my stomach and says something about my uterus.  I casually say “That’s not my uterus.”  After a moment MPW says “Yeah I know.  Well, where is it?”  Of course I start laughing.  “Where the heck do you think it is?” I giggle.  At this point he chokes and says “I don’t know.”  So I point to where it would be.   He continues to look at me strangely.  So, I say “well, it’s only like this big,” and I hold up my fist.  At this point MPW looks pretty dang confused.  “But, how does a baby fit in there?”  I look at him incredulous.  “I can’t believe you are 28 years old and you don’t know about the female reproductive system.  It friggin stretches you weirdo!  What did you think it was a parachute, all folded up until baby and then *poof* it explodes into being?  Does it look like a deflated balloon in the mean time?” 

“No,” MPW says peevishly.  “You’re really enjoying this aren’t you?  I bet you can’t tell me where the prostate is.”  I really could not stop laughing at the image of this parachute uterus, but this sent me over the edge.  I offered to show him, but he declined.  Maybe me wiggling my eyebrows when I offered freaked him out.  Through my tears of laughter I said sarcastically, “Yeah, and I bet you thought the ovaries are the size of real eggs too.” 

*pause*

“How big are they?”   “You can’t be serious?” I said incredulously, “where is my giant uterus and egg-sized ovaries fitting in here?  Where do you think I’m hiding those?”  He points to a place around my kidney.  “They’re not earphones, man, the tube is not that long and my ovaries are tiny.  They are like this big,” and I hold up my fingers an inch apart. At this point MPW is pretty embarrassed, but I just cannot stop laughing.  And not a pretty laugh, no.  A loud guffawing, hiccuping laugh so hard that tears are streaming down my face.  MPW is tired and pretty irritated at this point. 

After a few more minutes of me guffawing, MPW turns to me and says, “so if I was going to punch you in the baby-maker  I would have been way off,”  rolls over and goes to sleep.

http://artofmanliness.com/2009/03/18/11-manliest-anchormen/

Yeah, That Just Happened!