That Just Happened!

www.thatjusthappened.ca.  Now there’s an address I haven’t typed into
my internet address bar in a while.  I have effectively had 8 months of the worst writer’s block   laziness ever.  So why now?  Where did the inspiration come from to start writing again?  Well, a few places.

One, I have ideas again. Ideas about what to write, that is. I think most of my friends will attest to the fact I usually get ideas.  Dastardly, evil, revengeful, brilliant ideas, especially after a cocktail or two.

Two, my days and nights are reversed just like how it was ages 0-12 months.  My natural clock took over and all-nighters are occurring once again. Only this time they are less fun because I am; a) doing it alone and b) I have not had one or two of the aforementioned cocktails.  I have met a few women who are in the same boat as me, but they are menopausal, so they weren’t too interested in my circadian rythyms.  How can I compete with hot flashes and night sweats, anyway?  I just have dark circles and an internet search history that reads: “Girls Next Door Bridget Dogatonic Video” and “circadian rhythms”.

Three, my dear friend over at The Pond, Blond Duck, has written an awesome book that I said I would review for her.  I thought it would be weird to just throw out a review after months of silence, so take this as an introductory post and a promise that I will be reviewing one fantastic, whimsical book.  Her Halloween series  was a scary story that was actually scary.  It is supposed to be for young adults, but I got chills and it wasn’t because the a/c  is positioned to blow down my neck when I am at the computer, because it was cold outside when I read it and the a/c wouldn’t have been on.  So there.

Four, I have a stack of books that I have read and am hoping will reach the ceiling by the end of the year.  I have to review a lot of them for the Governor General Awards challenge that I made for myself.

Five, who else can I tell about my lusty thoughts about Paul Gross and I why I think he is everything that is sexy and Canadian and male?

Six, my hormones are a swingin’ lately and with the return of the cycstic acne on my chin came enough angst that I feel I have something interesting to write about.

Seven, MPW (my partner Will) is saying stupid things again.  Like, “Who are The Judds?  You mean it’s not just Ashley?”

Eight, someone left me a comment on my “about me” page that just said, “You can go F**K yourself” and I just want to say, “Well…F**k you too, random person who is probably spam. F**k you too.”

Nine, I am getting tired of entering into blog giveaways and not attaching a blog address to my name because I haven’t done anything new since January.  In addition, I am sure Blond Duck would like a new post to leave a comment on.

Ten, Stephtastic is in Derby and I go see her games, KB (my brother-in-law) is doing improv which I go see, MPW is going to start skiing before I know it and I’ll be left all alone and I’m craving some attention, gosh darn it.  What about meeeee?  Notice meeeee!

Well, there ya have it. I’m back.  I’m committing.  I really just want to talk about Paul Gross.

That Just Happened!

Tuesday was my last yoga class at the community center.  Remember when I signed up for it?  And Mille said I told you so?  Although I still don’t look like this…

I have learned a few things about myself and my body.

1.     I have nightmares about punching people.  Actually, that’s not really a nightmare.  In my dream I punch someone, but I either miss, or my punch is so soft it glances off their chin and they laugh at me.  That’s a nightmare.  At first I thought it was some deep rooted feeling of being ignored, or feeling unloved.  Maybe it had everything to do with my mother.  But, now I know the truth.  Save it Freud!  Keep it to yourself, Jung!  I now know this is because my subconscious was telling me that my arms are weak.  Very, very weak.  Like, if I was in a fight, I would have to hope the perpetrator was within kicking distance because these arms were only made for holding….you lovingly.  Which brings us to the second point.

2.    My legs are super  strong.  I attribute it to my longer than usual thighs.  Seriously, I am disproportionate.  I will never be able to do a forward fold and grab my toes because my arms are so much shorter than my legs.  In fact, I once had a doctor tell me, in a way that suggests freakishness, that my thighs were very long.   Humph. Whatevs.  It was God’s way of keeping me safe because He knows these arms aren’t going to help.

3.    I am still really, really bad at yoga.  The balance poses are okay, but anything to do with strength is just not enough.  I finally got used as an example of perfect form, though.  The last class we had to do this sphinx-frog thing and my legs were perfect and my back was perfect and it was my shining moment.  Until I remembered that this class all the positions are to make you better in bed and it’s about widening your hips.  Slutastic, thankyouverymuch.

4.    I do make friends!  I met this wonderful person named Susan and we exchanged information.  We’re going to have coffee sometime.  I realize now that this sounds like a pick up, but I swear it wasn’t!

5.    I don’t think I am ever going to get my perfect yoga body by doing this once a week, so I am upping the ante.  I decided I am going to join a bonafide yoga studio and try doing this 2 times a week.  There are two in my area that look interesting and you can drop in on Wednesday nights, or pay $20 for unlimited classes for 1 month to see if you like it.  So, my quest to find the perfect yoga body continues and MPW will continue to win our arm-wrestling competitions. 

Yeah, That Just Happened!