That Just Happened!

So maybe I haven’t showered for a day or two  a while and I was wearing MPW’s hat to go to Starbucks.  Maybe being clad in blue jeans and an army green jacket was the reason for the barista’s confusion.  Perhaps it was because I was somewhat hidden behind the customer in front of me, but the fuzzbucket  barista called me “Sir”.

Um, last I checked I am not a “sir”.  Last I checked the long hair in a ponytail (which was pulled up in a hat, in all fairness) and the unmissable boobs were kind of a dead giveaway.  Oh, and I sound like a seventeen year old girl, you dink!

Once the barista got a good look at my face he had the courtesy to turn a bit pink and then self corrected himself.  “Oh, sorry ’bout that.  What I can get you ma’am?”

Ma’am?!  You think I look like a ma’am?  How old and manly do you think I am you little meanie.  If I wanted my feelings hurt I’d go to open mike night at Yuk Yuk’s!

Of course, being the mature woman that I am I replied, “Decaf, Grande, Non-fat, No-whip, Mocha.”  Yeah, not exactly a scathing reply, but I did repeat it twice because obviously this guy has issues.

That Just Happened!

Stephtastic and I were sitting on the porch at my Mom’s house, enjoying the warm weather and talking about Derby when this car pulls up across the street.  I guess the guy driving was checking out the house for sale. 

Beside me, Stephtastic huffs and says, “Whatever!  They’re on a date and he’s trying to impress her.”  And then a bit louder she says, “And the car’s probably rented!”

Good thing the music was loud and they couldn’t hear us.

Yeah, That Just Happened!

I still remember the first unwelcome comment about my body I ever received from a guy.  He told me my “boobs looked terrific in that shirt.”  Being a high-school girl I was quite indignant, but very unsure how to express my extreme displeasure.  I turned bright red and spluttered, “I’m sooo  going to tell your Mom you said that!”  It seems silly now, but at the time it was quite the threat and he immediately apologized.

Looking back on it, I can recognize the comment for what it is.  Harassment.  Although…the older woman in me is kind of flattered.  I know  it’s rude, but it’s been a loooong while since I got catcalled, or “your butt looks fiiiiine” (okay I never got that), or “I love how your hair is so messy. It reminds me of being in bed,” (Which I have got.  Weirdo.), or “You  have a sexy smile.”

If I were to get any of these comments it would be flattering because it means…

1. I can still hear catcalls!  That means I’m not as deaf as MPW thinks I am.
2. My hair has come full circle from rat’s nest to sexy-tousled.  Not brushing it has finally paid off.
3. I shrunk my jeans enough in the wash so that you can see  that I have a butt.  Right now I am kind of unintentionally rocking the teenage-boy-pant-look.
4. I remembered to ask the ortho if I can do at-home whitening with the wire on the back of my teeth.  And then I did it.
5. My boobs look like they exist on the same plane that they did in high school without using a rope and pulley system.

So, although these comments are harassment and degrading and masochistic and what have you, I think a little well-meaning dirty comment from a stranger could be a good thing right about now.  I’ll still give them a dirty look.  It is unacceptable after all.*wink*

Yeah, That Just Happened!