That Just Happened!

Megan at Undomestic Diva  wrote a pretty passionate blog post about toothpaste.  Although it may seem silly, lame, or boring to most, I must admit it got me going.

As some of you know, I have a thing about toothpaste being squeezed in the middle.  I think my neurosis stems from sharing a bathroom with my sister when we were younger.  I feel so strongly about it that the morning of Stephtastic’s wedding I came storming out of the bathroom, “Stephtastic, you used my toothpaste didn’ you?!”  Immediately looking chagrined she admitted it followed by “I’m soooo sorry.  I forgot!”  The photographers thought it was hilarious and shared their own toothpaste stories.  I stared her down and said “Remember, this is your day.  Tomorrow it’s back to the real world.  The one where I punch you for squeezing in the middle, just like when we were kids.” (I’m totally kidding.  I didn’t stare her down.)

I think in any couple there is someone who squeezes from the bottom (me) and someone who squeezes from the middle (everyone else).  The battle wages eternal.  I wish that was all that bugged me, but there are more things…

I hate  when someone leaves globs of toothpaste in the sink.

I hate  when there is so much extra crap coming out of the top of the tube that the cap cannot be screwed on properly.

Like the Undomestic Diva, I hate  bad tasting toothpaste (anything in gel form.  I’m traditional. I like the paste.).  I mean, as I commented to her, it isn’t like a bad tasting food where you can spit it out immediately.  You not only have to keep it in your mouth for 2 minutes, you have to scrub that crap right in there.   And more than once a day.  However, this doesn’t stop me from buying toothpaste if it is on sale (as long as it is a paste).

Yes, I realize that it is slightly ironic that someone who has had some of the most epic dust bunnies ever is that particular about her toothpaste,  but like I said, I blame Stephtastic. 

So Megan, now you can feel less lonely about blogging about toothpaste.  Although, reading yours again I see mine is much more neurotic.

Yeah, That Just Happened!

Niffenegger, Audrey.  The Time Traveler’s Wife.  Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (2004).

A dazzling novel in the most untraditional fashion, this is the remarkable story of Henry DeTamble, a dashing, adventuresome librarian who travels involuntarily through time, and Clare Abshire, an artist whose life takes a natural sequential course. Henry and Clare’s passionate love affair endures across a sea of time and captures the two lovers in an impossibly romantic trap, and it is Audrey Niffenegger’s cinematic storytelling that makes the novel’s unconventional chronology so vibrantly triumphant.

An enchanting debut and a spellbinding tale of fate and belief in the bonds of love, The Time Traveler’s Wife is destined to captivate readers for years to come.

From the Publisher’s Website

Um, I know I am probably the last person to read this book (except for MPW’s cousin Lindsay who just got this book the other day).  I know everyone before me has extolled the virtues of this novel.  Buuuuut, I don’t see the harm in doing it again, because it was just that good.  I got this book as a Christmas gift from my friend Mille, but I have been putting it off because I heard it was such a tear-jerker.  I finally sat down to read it (or lay down as the case may be. I usually read in bed at night) and I couldn’t put it down. 

I thought it was pretty easy following the dates and the ages of Henry and Clare.  I liked how the Reader knows what is coming, as do the main characters, but it is written in a way that is so hopeful.  Perhaps there is a reason for all of this and changes can happen?

I don’t want to say too much because for those who have yet to read it, saying anything about it gives something away.  I will say, this book was tinged with sadness.  From the very beginning you can feel your heart strings being pulled in all directions.

A Must Read.  Thanks Mille for the wonderful gift!

 Rooke, Leon.  Shakespeare’s Dog: A Novel.  Thomas Allen Publishers (2003). Originally published 1981.

 A tour de force of inventive wit “Shakespeare’s Dog” is the eccentric and high-spirited story of William Shakespeare and how he came to bed and wed Anne Hathaway. Told from the point of view of the Bard’s dog, this astonishing novel of comic bliss, hailed as a triumph of language and an amusing delight.

From the Publisher’s Website

I can’t believe that all of the contenders that year, this book was picked as a winner.  Really.  This book is written from Shakespeare’s dog’s perspective.  If this is what my dog is thinking then I am super glad he can’t talk like Hooker does in the book.  Sometimes it seems as if Shakespeare understands him and sometimes he does not.  It really didn’t add anything to the story and it seemed a little contrived.   What totally blows my mind is that this was made into a play.  For the stage.  I mean, what exactly did they make a play about?  A dog sniffing around cursing?  Shakespeare’s imagined conversations with his canine companion?  I have a feeling this play would be worse than the slow death I experienced at Death of a Salesman (and I’m not talking about the main character).

I feel like I can now curse out someone quite thoroughly in a Shakespearean way and I know about 15 different words for vagina.  Educational?  Maybe.  Practical?  No, well…maybe.  I really just could not get into this book.  It took me a few tries to get past the first chapter and once I had I wondered why I even bothered?  I mean, this is something I would expect the Giller Prize committee to have commended (oooh snap!)  not the Governor General Award committee.  Perhaps it was just a really bad year for literature.  I don’t know. 

Not worth the time, I can’t even pick out a theme really.  Perhaps survival and relationships.  I never thought I would ever be giving out this score, but this book really did sucketh.

I read this novel towards my personal Governor General Award Winner for Fiction Challenge.