That Just Happened!

It hurts and is extremely uncomfortable.  It hurts to laugh, or cough (which I feel like I have to do a lot of) and I can feel a big ball moving inside of my belly.  “Baby?”  y0u may ask.  Nope, gas.  A big ball of gas caused from 4 laproscopic incisions in my belly.  Incisions caused by the surgery I had yesterday.  Thank goodness for MPW, I haven’t actually seen the incisions, he has done all the nursing and changing of the gauze.  Right now he is out running errands and I am bored and wide awake.  They said I would probably be tired, but I don’t really feel it.  Just bored. 

Things I have learned in the last few days. 

1. The sight of IV needles makes me want to cry.  And itch.
2. Not being able to eat breakfast sucks.  Big time. 
3. No matter how mentally prepared you are, when you lie on the surgical table for the first time, you’re going to cry.  People being nice to you and trying to reassure you will just make you cry harder.
4. If you go under anesthetic crying you will wake up crying.
5. Tell the anesthesiologist if you are easily nauseated because then they give you this wonderful medicine that prevents it.
6. I have good anatomy for sticking tubes down my throat (Heh.)
7. You use your tummy muscles for a lot of things.
8. The anesthetic makes my forehead break out into hundreds of red pin-needle sized blister/pimple thingies.
9. The staff at St. Mike’s are AWESOME  and they really went out of their way to be cheery and helpful and reassuring and funny.
10. The nurse was right.  I will really want a shower and by the time I get to have one I will be desperate for it.  Only 30 more hours to go.
11. MPW had to help me get dressed after surgery and watch as I put a Always maxi pad on my underwear.  I feel like that may have been the most intrusive part of my day.
12. No one cares that you are in the a wheelchair when exiting the elevator.  Especially if they are on their pink, sparkly BlackBerry.  Jerk.
13. My sister, Stephtastic is fantastic (which I kinda already knew).  She brought me magazines, and ice cream and told me funny Oprah stories. 
14. No matter how bad it gets…I can do it.  I can get myself out of bed, I can walk around, I can deal with it. 

So, what was I doing crying all over Doogie Houser aka “the-world’s-youngest-looking-medial-resident” who was helping with the anaesthetic, while squeezing the nurse’s hand as she dried my tears and I tried to have a conversation?  I was getting my lady-business sorted out.  Yep, me and my lady-bits have been at odds the last few years, and it was time to find out why.  So, Monday I will start to tell you the story of how I came to be in this mess. In the mean time I think I may go lie down for a bit.  And there is ice cream calling my name.

Yeah, That Just Happened!