Can You Hear Me Now, MPW?
Posted in At Home and tagged with Communication, MPW on 11/09/2010 08:00 am by Jenn
MPW and I were talking about the difference in communication styles between men and women. I said that usually when women complain about their day they just want the man to listen and empathize, but when men complain they are looking for solutions and action. Therefore, when a woman is complaining about, ”Tina talks about her dog all lunch break,” for example, and the man says, “So, change your lunch time,” the woman gets mad. He is simplifying the situation and it just shows he doesn’t understand. When a man complains about Tina and her canine companion and the woman says, “Oh, that’s horrible! What a bad way to spend lunch,” the man thinks the woman is trivializing the situation, or doesn’t understand because if she did she would have suggestions about how to change it.
Typically, that is a main difference in female/male communication. Except, for us it is reversed. I want solutions and actions and MPW just wants to get it off his chest, so at the end of the conversation he ends up feeling better and I am frustrated because there was no resolution. This leads me to say to him, “I communicate like a man, I am more interested in sports, I am more aggressive. When we get married I think I’ll call you my wife.” MPW gets a little pissy and says, “No, that’s not true!” Then he runs ahead to open the door for me (to show his manliness?). It does not open, so I reached for the other door and opened it. “After you.” “This is going on your blog isn’t it?” “Yep”. Silly wife.
Yeah, That Just Happened!
November 9th, 2010 at 10:41 am
Not my finest moment… D’Oh!
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November 9th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I am so the woman communicator – Kyle keeps giving me ‘solutions’ but when I tell him why they wont work he gets mad or wont believe me! I have ended up bringing him along with me to places so he can see for himself how things go down.
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November 9th, 2010 at 2:41 pm
hahahaha, laughed out loud to that one, Jenn!
What do you call it when I have to come up with the solutions for myself, AND for Jay? Would you say I am the wife and husband?!
oy vay!
(Good blog!)
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November 9th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
It’s really true. I have to tell Ben all the time that I just want him to listen, not to fix it.
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November 10th, 2010 at 9:54 am
I just had the BEST ever conversation/complaining session with Shaan- my best male friend. He was awesomly sympathetic and made me believe he was even more outraged than I at the injustices in the world. Couple that with a milkshake and I had the best night ever. All I could think of when I was walking home was “this is exactly what was in Jenn’s blog”
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November 12th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
women need to communicate using
EXXXTREEEEEMEESS!!!!!
Men would understand a lot better.
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Jenn Reply:
November 13th, 2010 at 2:35 am
Yeah, I think subtlety is lost on them. Thanks for the input!
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November 13th, 2010 at 10:30 am
So funny that your communication roles are reversed … but I think your basic points are right. Mr. Jenners is always pointing how to fix things when I just want him to say “Oh …. I’m so sorry that you experience this.”
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