MPW is Never Too Old to Learn
Posted in At Home and tagged with Judgement, MPW on 02/02/2010 08:47 am by JennLast night as MPW and I were lying in bed we started talking about my uterus and I found out some pretty frightful truths about MPW’s knowledge of Lady Bits.
He puts his hand on my stomach and says something about my uterus. I casually say “That’s not my uterus.” After a moment MPW says “Yeah I know. Well, where is it?” Of course I start laughing. “Where the heck do you think it is?” I giggle. At this point he chokes and says “I don’t know.” So I point to where it would be. He continues to look at me strangely. So, I say “well, it’s only like this big,” and I hold up my fist. At this point MPW looks pretty dang confused. “But, how does a baby fit in there?” I look at him incredulous. “I can’t believe you are 28 years old and you don’t know about the female reproductive system. It friggin stretches you weirdo! What did you think it was a parachute, all folded up until baby and then *poof* it explodes into being? Does it look like a deflated balloon in the mean time?”
“No,” MPW says peevishly. “You’re really enjoying this aren’t you? I bet you can’t tell me where the prostate is.” I really could not stop laughing at the image of this parachute uterus, but this sent me over the edge. I offered to show him, but he declined. Maybe me wiggling my eyebrows when I offered freaked him out. Through my tears of laughter I said sarcastically, “Yeah, and I bet you thought the ovaries are the size of real eggs too.”
*pause*
“How big are they?” “You can’t be serious?” I said incredulously, “where is my giant uterus and egg-sized ovaries fitting in here? Where do you think I’m hiding those?” He points to a place around my kidney. “They’re not earphones, man, the tube is not that long and my ovaries are tiny. They are like this big,” and I hold up my fingers an inch apart. At this point MPW is pretty embarrassed, but I just cannot stop laughing. And not a pretty laugh, no. A loud guffawing, hiccuping laugh so hard that tears are streaming down my face. MPW is tired and pretty irritated at this point.
After a few more minutes of me guffawing, MPW turns to me and says, “so if I was going to punch you in the baby-maker I would have been way off,” rolls over and goes to sleep.
http://artofmanliness.com/2009/03/18/11-manliest-anchormen/
Yeah, That Just Happened!
February 2nd, 2010 at 10:38 am
*shakes head* *goes to type…opens mouth* *shakes head*
*puts head in hands*
gwaaaa our education system suuuuuuuuuuucks
[Reply]
February 2nd, 2010 at 12:53 pm
See, it’s the opposite in my house. Ben used to work for an obgyn so he has astute knowlege of everything: size, shape, function..it’s insane.
[Reply]
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:58 am
Boys! Oh my goodness. That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing.
Stopping by from SITS.
[Reply]
February 3rd, 2010 at 1:40 pm
You learn something new everyday!
[Reply]
February 3rd, 2010 at 2:37 pm
I had to go to the gyno today…was not amused!
[Reply]
Jenn Reply:
February 3rd, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Aw! I bet the whole time you were thinking about how much better it would be if you had a blanket (or Snuggie as Jenners pointed out!)
I feel for ya. Really I do.
[Reply]
February 4th, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Good Lord … this is frightening to say the least!! I guess he didn’t get an A in his Sex Ed classes.
[Reply]
February 12th, 2010 at 2:25 am
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The best part and I mean the best part of reading this was that from the very first sentence I could picture you both throughout the entire rendition. Even down to you laughing so hard and him rolling over and going to sleep. haha Jenn this made my day. Please tell MPW it’s ok. At least he learned something! But I would suggest that next time he isn’t sure about something like this and talking to you – he should fake it – change the subject and go wikipedia it
hahaha not as amusing for you – but probably less embarrassing for him! lol
Awesome. Just plain awesome.
[Reply]